October 9, 2007

My Stupid Blog ...

This is going to be nothing at all but the stupid, unedited, unadulterated mistakes I've made and the horrible things I've done that have haunted me my whole life. Nothing but my stupid things.

Every second of my life I feel plagued by the stupid things that have happened to me in my past, stupid little things that I can't seem to let go of. I'll be at work and I'll be doing fine and then I'll remember that time when I was seven and I asked my mom to marry me or that time I had a nosebleed in third grade and my teacher called me a nosepicker in front of the whole class. It's impossible for me to forget the mistakes and embarrassment and tears of my past, every one from when I was a kid all the way to earlier today when Lance got pissed off at me and almost made me cry.

That's it. This is my stupid blog.

I usually go by Steve. In fact, EVERYBODY in the world knows me by Steve or Mr. Steve or Reverend Steve. But my name is Esteban. Esteban Christian Galindo. When Bizarre magazine wrote an article about me they printed my real name, my full name.

I wanted to cry.


Gregorio said...

Was that Mrs. Moreno who called you a nosepicker? I always thought she was an insensitive bitch.

Reverend Steve said...

It was second grade. I don't remember who said it.

a Sacramento fan said...

as depressed as you can get, I highly recommend writing a blog to counter this one. You know, all the great things you've done. All the things that make you happy. Your beautiful wife, your precious daughters. Your sense of humor and creative mind.

I fully understand how easy it is to get stuck in the negative parts of yourself. Writing it all down can be very healing. But leaving it here for all of eternity with nothing to balance it with ensures that you will have a difficult time letting it go.

People have wronged you, no doubt.

But you have brought a lot of joy to a lot of people. Don't forget that.

Oh, and... write a memoir. Please.