Then I got older. I graduated high school and entered into college. I started counseling Catholic high school teens and being more active in my church. Then I started doubting everything. I wasn't sure. I desperately longed for that headfirst love for God that I used to have. Then I eventually broke off entirely from the catholic church. It happened somewhere around my 21st birthday. I just felt nothing. God wasn't there for me anymore. And I wondered if he was ever there at all.
Something tells me, though, that the REAL reason why I left the faith was the alcohol, the booze, the non-stop drinking and fucking and cursing and fighting that consumed pretty much my entire twentysomethings. Sometimes I think the only reason why I quit being catholic was the drinking.
Don't get me wrong. I love my life and the religion I created that has porpeled me into worldwide fame ...
But sometimes I wonder how my life would have been different if I didn't jump headfirst into an angry, boozy 20-year-old.